It is a painful decision to make when you have to decide between your life and love. And sometimes the latter has to be prioritised. Many people are in abusive relationships and are too afraid to leave.
I am of the school of thought that giving (too much) power to your spouse can be demoralizing. He or she can take advantage of you and misuse you. Nobody likes to be misused. A human being is not an animal that can be controlled, misguided or yes taken advantage of.
There are signs that one should look out for especially when feeling unsafe or feeling insecure in the relationship they are in. There is no need to stay because of feeling some type of way. Endangering yourself is not fun!!
1. There is constant jealousy
If he is always asking about your whereabouts, who you are hanging out with, what you are doing, then you need yo go. This jealousy could provoke him to do bad and hurtful things to you.
2. He is very controlling
If he is jealous , he will want to know every single detail of your life. It makes him powerful to know that he has a say in what you do, what you wear and even who you hang out with. At the end of the day, your life is in his hands.
3. He blames others
He won’t want to take charge of his own mistakes. Instead, he will blame you for it or someone else. Who made him angry? You. Who made him hit you? YOU!! This is nit fair to you or anyone else. But because he has chosen to blame others, it is all on them and not him.
4. There is verbal abuse
Use of words to demean you will be the order of the day. Why should you stand someone who talks ill of you and causes your self esteem to die? That is not the way to build someone. He is destroying you, so you should leave before it becomes worse.
5. He threatens violence
If the person you are with threatens to do any harm to you GO. You shouldn’t wait to see if he will “fulfill” that “promise”. If you have to go without your belongings, just do it. It is better to be safe than sorry.
Some people say that they love their partners, but would your spouse do anything to harm you? It hurts to deal with so much pain in the name of “staying for the kids” or “he will change” or “what will society say”.
Your life belongs to you. You probably didn’t know that life would take a drastic change like that but it did and you have to save yourself. Run. Run for your life, don’t look back.
Society and the rest of us can go wherever if we want to, but you? You have to forget about us and our thoughts, and get out of there. Save yourself and your children.
I pray that whoever has been in this situation, has managed to survive and will tell their story someday. My heart goes out to the ones who are yet to leave because they don’t have the courage to. I pray that you will get that courage and that your steps will be ordered by God because you deserve a second chance at life.