I am going to be (truly, very) open today. The title, “are you OK?” Whenever those words are uttered, it brings a sting to my chest. It makes me reflect about things, situations, stuff and general life.
“Are you OK?” How many of us know what to do when in a situation such as this, when a friend, relative or workmate is not in a good place and somehow you will know how to comfort or calm them down?
When these words are uttered, and I am going through something, no matter how much of a brave face I put out there to the world, I know deep down somewhere I will break down. It feels so good to put it out there. I honestly though don’t like those words…..
“Are you ok?”
No I am not OK, I just don’t want to tell you what is going on.
No I am not OK, I don’t want you to see my weakness.
NO, I AM NOT OK, because you might use my weakness against me.
No, I am not OK because if I am vulnerable, I don’t know how you will perceive me.
I know that when I become vulnerable, i will just want a hug and perhaps life will become better. Perhaps the situation will change. I wish there were magic words to set moods off. Sometimes I wonder do we have to have these feelings? Are they necessary.
Remember when we were kids, when we’d watch kiini macho, and the magician would say “Rambo, bambo, boom boom”, and just like that, at a snap of a finger things become better.
I was asked by a friend sometime ago ” are you OK?” I just welled up. Every thought, emotion came right through like a gushing wind. That hug though made me feel better.
It was a way of release.
I couldn’t explain myself or what was happening, but I know after crying, it made things better. Funny thing though I wanted to apologize because experiencing such feelings is bot like me.
This is me…
Bubbly, happy, (very patient), my character and personality does not allow me to be sad. You know, put on a brave face, well, until everything spills over. Spill over it did because containing myself was not easy – “Are you OK?”. Those words.
Here’s a (not so) funny story, I have the right or is it a privilege to call in for a CODE RED but I don’t know how to bring myself to it. It’s like having to buy shoe polish because your shoes need to shine but you can’t bring yourself to go to the shop. So what will you use to shine the shoes? You know?
Human beings are like that. After stepping in the mud, dust and dirt,we need to be polished for us to shine again, for us to bring out the best in ourselves.
How many of us don’t know how to interact with others beyond face value? I am one of those.
It was actually someone who made me regret so many things and I have questioned a lot. So I decided to be creative and I kind of took my power back. After being humiliated, I think I deserve to be OK, even if the outcome may not be what I envision.
” Are you OK?”
Think about it. Don’t let it go too long. If you have the privilege to code red, do it.
Let me sit back and reflect.