As much as I seek advice from my female friends, I also need a few pointers from the guys, so getting advice from a guy about guys works 100%. 😊 So, I bumped into a friend of mine and we had a very long conversation about men and he might have divulged a few details, but I think it was a good session. See, as women we want to understand men and what the want. What is it that makes them tick? What makes them think of doing what they do and even what they say? When men say women are complicated, it is them who are on that complicated side of the coin.
Before I give you the tea on what we talked about, there is one thing I have come to realize… All the relationship advice and talks given by these so-called “male experts” don’t work. Hold on… They don’t work on Kenyan men. Our men are just a breed on their own. Yes, I had subscribed to the likes of Mathew Hussey, (don’t judge me), who is an expert on all things men. So, I recently unsubscribed and then went on a ‘hunt’ as I looked for advice from my pal.
I opened my mind to what I thought about a few men I had or have met in the past and my friend told me not to group all men as the same. That is what I do. It is a weakness I have but it just doesn’t seem to go away. Anyway, so yes grouping all men and putting them in one category is a weakness that needs to be killed.
Here is my reason why:- They all behave the same. Fullstop!
“Men are dogs, they are beasts, so the way a woman treats them is how they will be treated.” Mwalimu told me.
“I don’t believe you. Background matters a lot. If a guy is raised in a household that encourages violence towards a woman, then the beast in him will be evidenced.”
“Here is the thing. You see what happened to Ivy? I am not for it, but she deserved it. This is because she was mean to that man who provided her with everything. I mean why did she switch off her phone? Was she meant to be out of reach? Mwanaume alikuwa akimtafuta. Why did she do that?” Mwalimu was trying to justify a point but I disagree.
Ivy had a choice, yes, and she chose her path. That did not equal her death. As women, we also must become empowered and make our choices. No one, absolutely NO ONE should make decisions for us. The reason why women have become so empowered now is because we can no longer rely on men, like it is supposed to be.
Check this scenario out:
A woman lives with a man who has no plan or vision for himself. This man just eats, sleeps, wakes up repeat. According to the bible, a woman is supposed to be a man’s assistant or helper(Genesis 2:18). At least Mwalimu also agrees with me that man is supposed to be THE provider. Mpaka hapo mumeelewa. Siyo? Woman was created to be a helper. But man has refused to pick his a$$ up and do something. So woman has become the ultimate bread winner. If a woman has become empowered, it is because man has failed her. There is nothing that can change that balance now since woman has already eased into that role of bread winning.
Now, Mwalimu and I have had extensive conversations on the roles of men and women, but it remains that women have more rights now, more power. Man may not accept or believe it, but to be honest, man has no game. Woman has taken his role and he is not remorseful about it.
To the women who take care of their own, good job!!