As much as I seek advice from my female friends, I also need a few pointers from the guys, so getting advice from a guy about guys works 100%. 😊 So, I bumped into a friend of mine and we had a very long conversation about men and he might have divulged a few details, but I think it was a good session. See, as women we want to understand men and what the want. What is it that makes them tick? What makes them think of doing what they do and even what they say? When men say women are complicated, it is them who are on that complicated side of the coin.


Before I give you the tea on what we talked about, there is one thing I have come to realize… All the relationship advice and talks given by these so-called “male experts” don’t work. Hold on… They don’t work on Kenyan men. Our men are just a breed on their own. Yes, I had subscribed to the likes of Mathew Hussey, (don’t judge me), who is an expert on all things men. So, I recently unsubscribed and then went on a ‘hunt’ as I looked for advice from my pal.

I opened my mind to what I thought about a few men I had or have met in the past and my friend told me not to group all men as the same. That is what I do. It is a weakness I have but it just doesn’t seem to go away. Anyway, so yes grouping all men and putting them in one category is a weakness that needs to be killed.

Here is my reason why:- They all behave the same. Fullstop!

“Men are dogs, they are beasts, so the way a woman treats them is how they will be treated.” Mwalimu told me.

“I don’t believe you. Background matters a lot. If a guy is raised in a household that encourages violence towards a woman, then the beast in him will be evidenced.”

“Here is the thing. You see what happened to Ivy? I am not for it, but she deserved it. This is because she was mean to that man who provided her with everything. I mean why did she switch off her phone? Was she meant to be out of reach? Mwanaume alikuwa akimtafuta. Why did she do that?” Mwalimu was trying to justify a point but I disagree.

Ivy had a choice, yes, and she chose her path. That did not equal her death. As women, we also must become empowered and make our choices. No one, absolutely NO ONE should make decisions for us. The reason why women have become so empowered now is because we can no longer rely on men, like it is supposed to be.

Check this scenario out:

A woman lives with a man who has no plan or vision for himself. This man just eats, sleeps, wakes up repeat. According to the bible, a woman is supposed to be a man’s assistant or helper(Genesis 2:18). At least Mwalimu also agrees with me that man is supposed to be THE provider. Mpaka hapo mumeelewa. Siyo? Woman was created to be a helper. But man has refused to pick his a$$ up and do something. So woman has become the ultimate bread winner. If a woman has become empowered, it is because man has failed her. There is nothing that can change that balance now since woman has already eased into that role of bread winning.

Now, Mwalimu and I have had extensive conversations on the roles of men and women, but it remains that women have more rights now, more power. Man may not accept or believe it, but to be honest, man has no game. Woman has taken his role and he is not remorseful about it.

To the women who take care of their own, good job!!

Published by mariesaru

I am all things love: love for hair, love of amazing relationships and I am here to tell mine and your story. I love adventure and all things books, especially romance. Stay tuned for more stories.

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  1. Interesting thoughts. I however don’t believe that a woman’s empowerment means her man has failed her. In some societies, the woman’s empowerment has become a source of light in the homestead and society.. So as much as men may have let their role slip into the hands of women, not all empowered women have been failed by their men.


    1. Thanks for sharing your thought LJ. I still think though that a woman’s empowerment could be brought about by the man she is with, reason being if he isn’t willing to change or hasn’t tried a bit. And then also if she decided to stay on int he relationship and things go from bad to worse, then the cycle continues. And yes, it is true other things might lead to a woman’s empowerment.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey there Marie,
    I beg to differ for a moment on your thoughts that man has become lazy. As much as there is the other side of the coin, that coin (man) could have many other replicas (men) that have a dent here and s scratch there. Every one has a story and no story is the same as another. That said, I do not know how many youth are reading about the End of times. It seems to Me more each day that young folk are drifting away from reality and creating their own reality unreal world of social media and homes are breaking apart. Now let me take you back a little. Now the reason I said I do not know how many youth are reading about the end times(oh and yeah I realise please don’t want to seem as radicals when talking on religion, but hey reality is reality whether one chooses to shut the eye or look the other way. Time will stop) is because you would realise there are movements working towards the Antichrist agenda. Sooooo Our men are not only being denied work , but they are being denied work so that women are empowered, and when that happens the home breaks apart and man his birth right as provider snatched from under his hand, WOMAN takes the role of man with a smile but does not realise her body is not built to wear suits and ties but to show love , nuture child and build a dynasty! So her womb coils, twists and turns ( currently women fertility rate has declined and surrogates from poor countries are being sought out ) and she cannot have the baby that she so yearns and that perfect job. Read the Quran people. Ok I get all the fear of Islam because of what is shown on the media , but hey no one has stopped you to get a translated copy of the Quran and READ. Eish, there is a reason why we are higher beings. Think people! Now what you will discover when you read this amazing book (Quran)it is spelled out plain as day the happening in the world today. So back to the topic,
    I believe women are being empowered for the wrong reasons. Instead of bashing and driving our men to the wall……as you said Marie, Woman was created to be Man’s Assistant. So let’s give them that helping hand that we were created to give. On the brighter side, Allah took out Adam’s whole rib to create Eve . Yet Eve will not bow her head to lend a hand?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for yous insight Samira. I love your love for religion and yes we need to take a few steps back. Women indeed were created to be assistants and nurturers and all that. I will keep praying for our men that doors will open for them. Thank you for opening our eyes to a lot of things!!


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