It is one thing to learn to forgive and another trying to hold on to some grudges that weigh us down. This is in basis of being in a relationship. When together with someone, there are some things that this person can do that can tick the partner off. It’s not about leaving socks on the floor or not washing the utensils or even leaving the bed unmade.
There are some things in relationships that can cause obstacles and turn in to serious bitterness. All the above could be child’s play. There are issues that can cause a relationship to break and some people stay in it for the sake of the kids and others are just afraid to be alone. Yes, these are real ssues and human beings going through difficult moments in their lives and it is relevant for some understanding to come through and perhaps even just hold their hands. If you know of anyone going through something, just be there, encourage them.
So, would you forgive your partner or hold it against them for eternity? The problems could be as grave as financial, since one of you could be the one supporting the household- being the breadwinner, paying the rent, the school fees, buying food and literally just doing everything. Women especially feel really burdened if they have to do this and yes it can take a toll on both genders because let’s face it, the economy has changed and two heads are better than one.
Financial issues are a major thing among couples and one or both can harbor some hate which leads to bitterness and unforgiveness between the two individuals.
Talking things out helps. Keeping things in your heart will not solve anything and will make it worse. Don’t get me wrong, because if it is time for the relationship to die, just let it. Holding on will not change anything. But if you leave, do so with a clean heart, so that moving on can be easy. Carrying problems from a previous relationship will cause strain in the current one.
I touched on finances because I have seen what it can do to people. This is an experience I wouldn’t want anyone to go through. It taints an image for you and also people involved, like close friends, especially when a partner decides to bad mouth the other.
Let’s talk about that for a second…
For one, you should learn to cover your partner’s indiscretions. No one needs to know their other side, unless you are talking to a therapist or a third party who won’t take sides. If love covers all, this should be the time to do that. The bitterness won’t even find a way to get through to your heart because as a human being you will feel the pain and just know how to handle it altogether.
Secondly, having these things in your heart just damages you. I don’t know how much I can emphasize this but don’t keep negative images in your mind. These things hurt and if not let go, will keep hurting for the longest time. It takes time to forgive, and trying is what matters. Keep trying to work at it. Don’t let the bitterness consume you. If you do, it just takes control and before you know it, you’ll be out of control.
What would you choose? Bitterness or Forgiveness? What will have more space in your heart?