HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY

It has been a really long time coming, and I am tempted to wish you guys a happy new year. Well, six months down the line feels like a really long time and for sure it has been a long time coming because I haven’t shared anything on this platform since January and I have missed y’all. I want to know how you all are doing, share with me what’s been going on with you.

Speaking of what’s going on, how have the last three months been with the lockdown and everything else? Are you coping, making the most out of the situation perhaps? Or are you bored out of your mind? As an ambivert, I’m finding it hard to stay in one place, and lockdown or none, I have to find things to do to keep my spirits up. I find myself going for walks, cook ins, sometimes sleepovers and random hangouts. Just yesterday we celebrated my friend Mandy’s birthday and it was really dope because we got to enjoy the fresh air outside the normal house setting. Well, this is a story for another day. I just wanted to take a small breather before I get into the real reason why I am here. J

So, honesty is the best policy. It’s a saying we all use, but have we ever taken the time to reflect on its true meaning? Most times we believe in saying half-truths or no truth at all. Do we understand the consequence of not admitting to mistakes or just speaking out rightly by being honest? Well, here’s is my story and I hope it inspires someone to learn how to e truthful, to a partner, friend, family member, or just general society.

Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist or counselor, I just want to put it out there because I found my closure and I am finding my healing.

Let’s take it back to last year. Shall we?

It was October 2019 and we’d just opened shop at a mall, selling hair and body products. I met a guy who was charming and we started talking and before you know it we were friends. We talked about so much, it would be hard to summarise everything here in one word or sentence. So I am all things love and being a hopeless romantic, well, we started dating in beginning of the year.

Now, there is something that would constantly annoy me, the fact that every time there was a situation he would avoid it, not talk about it and go quiet for days. This is something I’m yet to understand with men because communication, for me, is key. No matter what. It doesn’t mean you call me a hundred times a day, but when it requires talking, we’d rather talk as we get solutions. Ladies, you feel me? A problem shared is one half solved. Right?

Anyway, so as the months went along things would change, today it would be blissful, another day it would be just meh. It seemed as if I was the one doing the most in this relationship- from checking up on him when he was down, to advising him on a lot of things.  I think if I wanted to be petty I would have been just that because who is a woman without pettiness?

Three and half months down the line I find out that he’d been lying to me about a number of things. Now, getting closure is very important and if you treasure it as much as I do, getting a firsthand meeting is very important. I think, ladies, we are beyond that age of dumping via text so a proper meeting should be scheduled, especially if you feel strong enough to go through with it. I knew I was because my entire being was not into him or that relationship anymore.

What I found out? He impregnated his X. One of my policies when it comes to dating is that dating a baby daddy is just a huge NO for me. The weirdest part about that is that he had been cohabiting with her part of last year( he mentioned having cut ties with her), well it seems as though the feelings were still there, so sh*t happened.

There was a claim that he had just found out that she was expecting and when he came clean, he knew way before. Now, it might be tricky to let the person you’re dating know such information, but it is important for one to evaluate and make a decision. What would you do if you were denied that chance? Would there be no love lost?

There is no excuse as to why one would still be in touch with an X. In my opinion? Burn the bridges to be able to move on swiftly. Also, don’t lie to get your way in or out.

Guys, be very honest with the girl you’re dating. How does one expect to build a life with someone if there is no honesty? We all have our skeletons in the closet but they need to be aired out before life and courtship get too serious. Ladies, our overthinking detective skills always help us out. As long as you trust your heart and gut instincts, you’ll never go wrong.

Another disclaimer: This story was not meant to be trashy, because I would have chosen to go with it that way. Just pick whatever lesson you can and gain your knowledge and power from this.

Let’s chat in the comment section below. Happy Tuesday!!!