Loving someone means that you’ll be tried, tested and burned (not in a literal way). It means sometimes accepting and sacrificing things. Learning your partner is an everyday job that requires a lot of patience and compromise. Love is an umbrella, a shield that is unexplainable because the things that people do in the name of love is crazy. Others wait it out, while others choose to walk away. When it comes to matters of the heart it is hard to understand decisions one makes, but at the end of the day, we have to try and get them, even if it means leaving it alone.
One thing I do not understand is why spouses cheat. Specifically, I want to ask the men in the building why it is so important for them to get another woman to satisfy their needs. When a woman has been loyal to you, has borne your children, has cooked, cleaned and been with you for her entire life, probably put her dreams on hold, you still have the audacity to bring a third party home. On top of that, floss her around. What did she ever do to deserve that???
Hold on one second… I’m not done yet…
If the woman decides to play that game, she’s a w*%%), a lying, cheating a$$. What makes your cheating more “special” than hers? I thought the vows that you said to each other, at the altar mattered. What caused you to do that? I want answers, I need to know what broke that trust.
“We’ve been separated for a year. This is what happened. He got another woman pregnant, and now he flosses her and their child around, in such a proud manner. We were together fifteen years and this for me is a breach of trust. I don’t think I can go back home. As we speak, it’s been a rough one year, but my kids and I are OK and we are taking it a day at a time.”
The institution of marriage is gravely under attack; because this is a couple I’ve known for such a long time. So why should I take the plunge if at the end of the day he will just go and cheat? So many questions running through my mind as I try to fathom what is going on. I’m in a confused state, but I know it is irreparable because the parents are stuck as to what to do about what’s happened.
But I like what my friend’s father in law told her…
“If you can’t stand his cheating ways, you don’t have to stay with him.”
He was man enough not to side with his son. He seems to know the saying once a cheater, always a cheater. And his daughter in law is having none of that.
I respect that she respects herself enough to walk away and try and find peace as she takes the next steps. Will they get back together? I don’t know, but her heart and mind are one and she’s determined to move along. Fifteen years is not a joke and there is no way she can get the time back, but she can teach her children how to walk away if things go south.
Imagine, you don’t have to stay if your heart, mind, and soul tell you not to. It comes at a price to move on completely. It takes courage to do the same. Don’t lie to yourself that things are going to change. Honey, leave. Period!!