One length? All Year Long???

Before I started this natural hair journey, my hair never seemed to grow. Year in, year out it was always the same length. This is what I came to realize…

Every time I would remove the protective style I had, all the length I had gathered was usually combed out. Yes ladies, it’s like the hair was just always the same, there was no change at all. To make it worse, the hair was always subjected to very high heat every two weeks, sometimes every week.

Do you know how frustrating it is?

Fast forward to 2013, when I went natural and discovered a solution that would make my hair grow like crazy and still help maintain length after taking out braids. It seems very laborious but it is so worth it.

So one day, when I was removing some kinky braids I had, I had done some research on undoing a PS with oil. Every braid I take out, my hands would be coated with oil just to apply to the strand of hair after the braid comes out. As I apply the oil, I would detangle too, using my fingers before using a comb. Let’s just say it was a form of prepooing.

In one of my posts, I explained what prepooing is.

Coconut oil was my oil of choice. It is light and I love how it smells. I agree that it would take hours, a process that is supposed to take about an hour just to undo but if you want to retain that length, sacrifice needs to be your middle name. Here is a video showing the take down process.

Oil makes the amount of hair lost minimal. It’s like a protective coating, so it seals your strands and makes them strong. After realising that secret I haven’t looked back. I do that all the time. Last time I had a PS( in October), I used the same process and it took close to five hours, and it was worth it.

This process can and should be used by both naturalistas and those who have permed hair. Oil is everything!!

Whichever oil is available is fine. My oil of choice is coconut. Olive oil, Sunflower oil, avocado oil etc can be used. Go ahead and mix them up if you want to.

Once you’ve soaked your hair in oil, leave it in for a couple of hours. If you want to do it overnight, it works as well. Cover your head with a shower cap and a satin bonnet for more intensity. Remember you haven’t combed your hair yet. So covering it ensures that the moisture gotten will now give you enough slip for you to comb out the hair. When you finally comb, start at the tip all the way to the root.

Be gentle as well. Remember you are trying to keep all the growth attained from the month or months you had that protective style.

Point to Note:- When you do this, have time on your hands because it requires a lot of patience. Don’t hurry just to get it over and done with.

After combing the hair, you can now go ahead and do the rest of the process of washing it. Always have time when you decide to take down your braids.

If you decide to get it done at the salon, do it your way because after all that head of hair is yours and it is a labour of love. I am sure the salonists won’t deny you the pleasure of using their steamer or drier. That actually makes the process of “soaking” faster. And wash fay will be complete in a couple of hours as compared to a day or two.

So want to see growth? How about you use some oil. ☺

Marini Shampooed me away!

I am not my hair

I am not this skin

I am the soul that lives within.

Y’all remember this song by India Irie? It is an anthem that is used so much by people to make them believe in themselves you know.

Yes I am the soul that lives within, but I am also definitely my hair and my skin. These two do define me because without this skin and hair, how would I relate to myself?

And so I would love to talk about Marini Naturals and how it has changed my life and hair. It is a brand I have grown to love and respect because it is Kenyan owned. Yeah baby. Kenyan brands are taking hair care to the next level and their shampoo got me good.

My hair really needed a lot of TLC, not the girl band, but tender, loving, care that it hadn’t gotten in two weeks. My scalp was itching like crazy and it needed to calm down. It was also dry and so moisture needed to be added. What better product to use than Marini shampoo.

Did you guys know that they rebranded on May 12th 2018? They have such a dope line and everything about the brand is just fun.

Anyhow….. Let’s get back to the shampoo review.

The ingredients in the shampoo make it great for fighting dandruff, combating dryness, it helps the hair grow too. The best part about it too is that it doesn’t contain sulphates. Sulphates are bad ingredients for natural hair. They cause major dryness, and so these should be avoided at all costs.

Here are a few reasons why I love the Marini shampoo:-

1. It is so thick, my hair loved it so much, she ate it up. Thickness means you won’t need so much to go around the whole head.

2. It lathers up. We all love that foam and bubbles here and there and it has that. It is a soft lather, but I would honestly say my hair was completely cleansed. I used the shampoo just twice.

3. When I bought the shampoo, first ingredient I saw was ACV- apple cider vinegar. That attracted me to it because ACV is known to restore the scalp’s PH balance and also gets rid of an itchy scalp. It also restores shine to the hair.

4. The scent is so scentlicious(if there is a word like that). It smells like tropical paradise. The bathroom smelt so good after the steam just spread around.

5. I have used this shampoo a couple of times and it’s just not ending y’all. It has lasted so long, which I like, meaning value for money. It comes in a 400ml bottle and yes it is worth it.

6. Because it is thick, I can say that when you travel you can easily carry it and it won’t spill over onto your items in the suitcase.

I love it when Kenyan brands rise up and take the lead and Marini is doing that.

I rest my case!!

Timely Dates

How patient are you? Are you able to wait for someone for hours on end?

Growing up I was taught how to be patient, and it could be this patience that killed me. Imagine having to wait for your date for hours on end.

So apparently I had a patience syndrome, the doctors must have diagnosed me when I was growing up. Time is money, or so it seemed. I would have been a rich girl, that silver spoon would have been found.

While in college I once waited for my date for a couple of hours. Four hours wasn’t much. Right? With my type of patience you’d be shocked.

A friend was going to school and so she couldn’t wait with me. I stood in the hot sun for time that seemed to have come to a stop. Oh my God!!!! Could the day get any worse?

With the wait came people coming and going, leaving me standing at the Bata Hilton, just waiting. Come to think of it I laugh out loud thinking I must have been foolish.

Every ten, fifteen minutes I would call my friend to consult to find out if I should just head on back home. I forgot that she was diagnosed with the same syndrome like me as a kid(oh Lord!) 😱 so she asked me to wait. So wait I did.

Let’s not forget that this wait started at 11am. All the way to 3pm. Something must have been wrong with me. How do you just stand hours on end just waiting. If you were in high school and you watched the long wait, then that is the perfect example of that.

When I called my friend at almost 3pm, I had had enough, and it was time to go. To her amusement I left the “meeting place”. As I was heading back to get a vehicle home, guess who calls, my date!! To my utter disappointment, or so I thought he had arrived.

Come to think of it being young sometimes sets us off to do stupid things like giving our time to someone who probably didn’t deserve it.

I am still patient but I know my boundaries now. It is hard to get me to wait that long anymore. Time is precious, it is money. We(me, myself and I) can find better things to do with our time. Tuende kutafuta pesa ama?

“Are you OK?”

I am going to be (truly, very) open today. The title, “are you OK?” Whenever those words are uttered, it brings a sting to my chest. It makes me reflect about things, situations, stuff and general life.

“Are you OK?” How many of us know what to do when in a situation such as this, when a friend, relative or workmate is not in a good place and somehow you will know how to comfort or calm them down?

When these words are uttered, and I am going through something, no matter how much of a brave face I put out there to the world, I know deep down somewhere I will break down. It feels so good to put it out there. I honestly though don’t like those words…..

“Are you ok?”

No I am not OK, I just don’t want to tell you what is going on.

No I am not OK, I don’t want you to see my weakness.

NO, I AM NOT OK, because you might use my weakness against me.

No, I am not OK because if I am vulnerable, I don’t know how you will perceive me.

I know that when I become vulnerable, i will just want a hug and perhaps life will become better. Perhaps the situation will change. I wish there were magic words to set moods off. Sometimes I wonder do we have to have these feelings? Are they necessary.

Remember when we were kids, when we’d watch kiini macho, and the magician would say “Rambo, bambo, boom boom”, and just like that, at a snap of a finger things become better.

I was asked by a friend sometime ago ” are you OK?” I just welled up. Every thought, emotion came right through like a gushing wind. That hug though made me feel better.

It was a way of release.

I couldn’t explain myself or what was happening, but I know after crying, it made things better. Funny thing though I wanted to apologize because experiencing such feelings is bot like me.

This is me…

Bubbly, happy, (very patient), my character and personality does not allow me to be sad. You know, put on a brave face, well, until everything spills over. Spill over it did because containing myself was not easy – “Are you OK?”. Those words.

Here’s a (not so) funny story, I have the right or is it a privilege to call in for a CODE RED but I don’t know how to bring myself to it. It’s like having to buy shoe polish because your shoes need to shine but you can’t bring yourself to go to the shop. So what will you use to shine the shoes? You know?

Human beings are like that. After stepping in the mud, dust and dirt,we need to be polished for us to shine again, for us to bring out the best in ourselves.

How many of us don’t know how to interact with others beyond face value? I am one of those.

It was actually someone who made me regret so many things and I have questioned a lot. So I decided to be creative and I kind of took my power back. After being humiliated, I think I deserve to be OK, even if the outcome may not be what I envision.

” Are you OK?”

Think about it. Don’t let it go too long. If you have the privilege to code red, do it.

Let me sit back and reflect.

I love me some Saru 💗

When I went natural, I prayed for Kenyans to stand in the gap and start making natural hair products. Getting products that worked for my hair was a hustle. The international brands e.g Cantu were not working and so when Kenyan entrepreneurs embarked on the journey it lifted a great burden.

I bumped into Saru Organics almost two years ago at an event and their products were to die for. Honestly speaking every time my hair gets a taste of one of their products it thanks me. It’s like Miss Fro was dying and she suddenly got revived.

Miss Fro gets dry very quickly and so getting a quick solution to quench her thirst was very welcome. I figured I must have been using the wrong products and I was not getting value for money and also Miss Fro was still suffering.

Today I want to talk about one product, that I got close to a year ago. The Saru Organics Curl pudding is life!! I have been using it once a week on wash day.

Here is what I love about the pudding.

1. It has a thick consistency

For those of us with thick hair, our hair tends to lose moisture very quickly, and so creams help us to retain some of that moisture, as it also helps to soften the hair. I usually use the L. C. O method because my hair is high porosity, so it loses moisture quickly.

Another thing is that it stays in the container. It won’t pour. So that is a

plus

2. It is very oily

The slip of this product is such that the oil in it can be sensed, in every sense of the word. When you feel it in between your fingers you will love the texture. It is good for people with lots of hair and those who want to generally protect their hair from losing moisture.

3. It has an amazing scent

It smells of a tropical fruit. This product has all the yumminess you could imagine. Just please don’t eat yourself. ☺

4. It has all natural ingredients

It has the goodness of shea butter, avocado butter and mango butter. These ingredients help your hair to flourish. It enables healthy hair growth too.

Saru organics pudding can be used to create curls either by way of twist out, bantu knot outs or braid (matuta) outs.

Sometimes when I am having a lazy day, I use the pudding to lay my edges. If not on wash day I use it to help stretch out my hair when I either want it in a bun or puff.

I have used their shampoo and leave in and both are amazing. Kenyan brands are going a long way to make products that cater to us natural girls.

With the way my hair “eats” products, this is a good change because also I spend less on hair products. The Saru organics Pudding goes for 750/=. Reasonable. Right?

Go ahead and pick a tab today!!

Darling Kenya Rebrand

Hair is a culture. It is your crowning glory. There is so much that can be done so much with the hair on your head. From braiding, to weaving, to colouring, even to experiencing a cut life.

It is just not normal to have boring hair. Right? Because you are at liberty to do whatever it is you mind and hands tells you to. If you had to do one conventional style, you’d easily get bored and just decide not to have hair at all. Right?

When I went natural, I found my niche. I have signature puffs and buns and I switch up the style to suit occasions. My hair is my signature. I have embraced it to bring out the best in me.

Switching up styles is so much fun and you too can achieve this depending on what you have to do. As women, we tend to change our hair dos every so often and this boosts our mood, making us happy and have life!

We never want to experience bad hair days. Oh those can be so embarrassing and makes self esteem shoot out the window. But with Darling Hair Kenya, all your woes will be thrown out the window. Why you ask? Because they launched new hair yesterday.

The hair is so versatile, it will work wonders for any occasion. Switching up style is healthy. It leaves you feeling good about yourself and conquering the world would be easy.

Darling put into consideration the everyday woman, who wants to explore, is fiery, sexy and is not scared to go out there and be the woman she is meant to be. In these new hairs – braids, crotchet, weaves and wigs you will find your beautiful.

Finding your beautiful is all about embracing who you are as a woman, not letting anyone persuade you otherwise and letting your self esteem blossom.

Darling has been around for the past 39 years and their promise to you is that they will help you bring out that woman. Explore, find what works, hey if you need to just go with the flow, do it. It won’t hurt anyone if you go ahead and just do you, because finding your beautiful is what it is all about.

That’s a Wrap

I have been falling in love lately. I have been getting addicted to tying my head with vitambaas. Yes. Head wrapping is for the win!! My current addiction and love. I had no idea it was as easy as ABC to just put one on the head and go!!

For the past few weeks I have been working from home and if I want to leave the house I will just wrap my head and go.

The good thing about tying scarfs is that you ‘hide’ from the embarrassing bad hair days. Honestly I have been feeling a little bit lazy when it comes to taking care of Miss Fro. I know I just removed my Nyasuba locks, but for some reason I ain’t feeling the fro. Working on that though. After the twist outs I achieved last week, I am definitely proud of that achievement.

It is time though to experiment with different things and why not use the different scarfs I have to achieve different looks for myself?

I have long scarfs that I am not currently using because Nairobi weather has decided to behave so instead of covering and protecting my neck, my hair gets that privilege.

Before I learnt how to tie the head scarf, I got one from Trendy B fashion house. Their head wraps come ready made, it is just for you to tie it on your head and go!! Well, we all learn things everyday, so I made it a lesson.

Having different coloured scarfs makes it even more fun to play around with. I currently only know one way of tying the scarf and I found that it works just fine for my head shape. Just play around with earrings too and I’m good to go.

Let me try as hard as I can to explain how I tie the scarfs…

So I put the scarf on my head, take the two ends, twist them together and then wrap it up on my head. Does that make sense? It is really very simple, because anyone can achieve the style.

Apart from hiding the bad hair days, scarfs are also used to protect the hair from the elements of the environment e.g wind, sun, dust, rain. If you decide to do your weekly deep conditioning and you want to leave the house, the scarf will be your best friend. ☺

I am yet to experiment with other ways of tying the scarf, but so far loving this way. It is easy, simple and elegant too.

Twisting Twists, Yummy Twist Outs

I recently removed the Nyasuba locks I had, and they had really served me well, seeing that they stayed for a record twelve weeks( three months). I honestly don’t see myself putting another protective style, probably until March, April there about.

I have been doubting myself when it comes to twist outs. My hair always seems to fail me and I just give up on it. This time around I decided to go through with it and just let the hair enjoy. Thankfully, they didn’t fail.

I used only three products to achieve the curls. Before I talk about the curls, let’s talk about washing the hair.

I used the Mazuri organics shampoo bar that lathers so well. I need to do a review of this shampoo very soon. It has worked wonders for my hair and scalp.

I stopped using rinse out conditioners because the sulphate free shampoos and shampoo bars I use are already conditioning enough, so my hair gets detangled easily.

After washing, I used my Marini naturals leave in conditioner that has an amazing scent and is very moisturizing for my hair. I use this on sectioned out hair.

After applying the leave in, I used Saru organics curl pudding. It is very rich in oils, so it keeps the moisture locked in completely. Today is day four after washing my hair and I didn’t need to re-moisturize it.

What I realized about my hair is that it has high porosity so I normally use the L.C.O(Leave in, Cream, Oil)method instead of L.O.C(Leave in. oil, Cream) and that works well for my hair. We can talk about porosity in detail soon. ☺

Having my hair out now is fun and I am enjoying it. It looks fuller and has so much more volume. At least thoughts of cutting it have died, but might colour it soon.

Oh this hair of ours. It is very diverse.

Love at First Fright!!

It is a painful decision to make when you have to decide between your life and love. And sometimes the latter has to be prioritised. Many people are in abusive relationships and are too afraid to leave.

I am of the school of thought that giving (too much) power to your spouse can be demoralizing. He or she can take advantage of you and misuse you. Nobody likes to be misused. A human being is not an animal that can be controlled, misguided or yes taken advantage of.

There are signs that one should look out for especially when feeling unsafe or feeling insecure in the relationship they are in. There is no need to stay because of feeling some type of way. Endangering yourself is not fun!!

1. There is constant jealousy
If he is always asking about your whereabouts, who you are hanging out with, what you are doing, then you need yo go. This jealousy could provoke him to do bad and hurtful things to you.

2. He is very controlling
If he is jealous , he will want to know every single detail of your life. It makes him powerful to know that he has a say in what you do, what you wear and even who you hang out with. At the end of the day, your life is in his hands.

3. He blames others
He won’t want to take charge of his own mistakes. Instead, he will blame you for it or someone else. Who made him angry? You. Who made him hit you? YOU!! This is nit fair to you or anyone else. But because he has chosen to blame others, it is all on them and not him.

4. There is verbal abuse
Use of words to demean you will be the order of the day. Why should you stand someone who talks ill of you and causes your self esteem to die? That is not the way to build someone. He is destroying you, so you should leave before it becomes worse.

5. He threatens violence
If the person you are with threatens to do any harm to you GO. You shouldn’t wait to see if he will “fulfill” that “promise”. If you have to go without your belongings, just do it. It is better to be safe than sorry.

Some people say that they love their partners, but would your spouse do anything to harm you? It hurts to deal with so much pain in the name of “staying for the kids” or “he will change” or “what will society say”.

Your life belongs to you. You probably didn’t know that life would take a drastic change like that but it did and you have to save yourself. Run. Run for your life, don’t look back.

Society and the rest of us can go wherever if we want to, but you? You have to forget about us and our thoughts, and get out of there. Save yourself and your children.

I pray that whoever has been in this situation, has managed to survive and will tell their story someday. My heart goes out to the ones who are yet to leave because they don’t have the courage to. I pray that you will get that courage and that your steps will be ordered by God because you deserve a second chance at life.

“One of the Boys”

It sucks to be labelled as “one of the boys”. How do you know where you relationship stands? Wait, relationship? Situationship? How do you define whatever it is you are in?

When the man in your life does not define what it is you are having with him, then my friend you’ve been labelled as been just a friend or should I say one of the boys?!

There has to be a clear cut line as to who you are to him. Which reminds me, there shouldn’t be such a thing as ” just hanging out”. Oh that makes me so mad. We don’t have time for time wasters. It is either you define or you walk away!!

When a woman doesn’t know what is going on, it makes her question a lot. Would it hurt to define? Guys, why do some of you play around with a woman’s feelings? It isn’t fun at all.

Ladies, always be sure what you are to the guy you are hanging out with. If you are sure about your relationship, ask him to label it. He should be able to introduce you as his girl, his woman. Steve Harvey also says that you should know your worth, especially if you are looking for something serious. If he does not have a claim on you, then he is just playing around. We do not want that now do we?

If you are sure about the thing you are having with this girl, tell her. Don’t leave her hanging in the balance. Claim her if you must. You actually must, come to think of it. At the point of her life where she feels she has too many friends, dude if you won’t value just go. Period.

Value her, care for her, make her feel loved, if that is your intention. How would you feel if you were “one of the girls”, her dudette. We need guys to grow up and express their feelings. Please don’t raise our hopes and then shut us down when we want something more.

I agree it can be hard sometimes, but master your courage and tell her. Tell her were the relationship or situationship is going. Kujipanga is very good for both of you. At the end of the day it is either we stick there or move on.

So what are you offering? Put it on the table, let’s decide.

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